Best of the Blotter 2008

Excerpts from police calls are a regular feature in all nine Bee Group Newspapers. Some of the more unusual reports from 2008 are reprinted here. Each is an actual listing from a town police blotter.

Illustrations by Robert Malloy

• A Windermere Boulevard resident complained about an annoying dog, stating it was "shouting, not barking."
• A woman who was the maid of honor in a wedding in Depew complained that she was kicked out of a limousine because the mother of the bride was hitting on her date.
• Someone broke the driver's side window of a vehicle parked at a Harlem Road supermarket and stole a personal check and a Bible.
• Employees observed a woman walking through the drive-through lane at Tim Hortons on Orchard Park Road trying to find loose change.
• An unknown woman came into a store at Southgate Plaza and was acting suspiciously. Employees said the woman walked quickly toward the exit with her jacket bulging around the waist. Upon looking at a display, the complainant realized the suspect had taken nine Webkinz plush chickens.

• A suspicious person was reported wearing a bunny suit on Elm Street. The person hopped away before patrol arrived.
• A woman reported someone shot at her car on County Road. The patrol determined it had been hit by a Tootsie Roll and no damage was found.
• A Bucyrus Drive resident reported she has a tree house at the edge of her property and she thinks someone is living in it.
• An Allenhurst Road grandmother complained that her 10-year-old granddaughter was talking back to her.
• A Benson Avenue resident reported that he has received multiple phone calls from an unknown person claiming to be Satan. The caller repeats everything the complainant says and makes vulgar comments.
• A woman was reportedly throwing loaves of bread into a parking lot on North Bailey Avenue.
• Youths were reportedly playing baseball in Mang Park and stripping. After the boys put their clothes back on, they proceeded to moon passing vehicles. The youths claimed that their shorts accidentally fell off while wrestling.
• Harassment was reported by an Amherst resident, who complained that prostitutes were being sent to his house.
• A North Freeman Road woman reported that someone threw a log through the driver's side window.
• A woman was reportedly running around the halls and screaming in the main office of a middle school on Maple Road. She was upset that her daughter was involved in a fight.
• A woman on Colvin Boulevard reported something wrong with the flooring in front of the elevator located in her apartment building. She told police she would stay up all night to warn people about it.
• A Chestnut Ridge Road man told police that he discovered that a 30-foot steel bridge was built over a ravine in his backyard by an unknown person.
• Two people in gorilla suits were walking around an Amherst subdivision "smacking passing motorists and yelling obscenities." They were located while sitting by the side of the road and advised to put the suits away.
• A man from Essjay Road complained there was paint on his car. Police reported it appeared to be bird droppings.
• An employee of a Broadway business reported she warned three youths not to ride their bicycles down the stairs or hill because of insurance liability reasons. The youths later returned with spray paint and painted a wall blue.
• An Oakgrove Drive resident thought a fox in her backyard was injured because she heard it moaning that morning.
• A complainant reported having a verbal argument with a clerk at a Military Road convenience store over a bug being discovered in a cup of coffee he had purchased.
• An officer observed a female sweeping up a broken radio on Military Road. The resident said she was sick of hearing vehicles run over the debris.
• A Sundown Terrace caller reported a ladder up against the window of a darkened house. Patrols reported a resident painting.
• A suspect was stopped by store personnel at a Harlem Road supermarket when he was seen leaving with two 30-packs of Miller beer without paying. When asked if he was going to pay, the man said he wanted to exchange the beer for a different brand. The man then said he was not actually there to exchange the beer but steal it, as he did not have any money.
• A business on North Bryant Woods complained that ducks had nested at the front door and were hissing at clients.
• Police were called to a Town of Tonawanda store after a person was witnessed stealing an Oscar Mayer Lunchable by stuffing it in his pants.
• Deputies responded to a disturbance on Billington Road after a caller reported that her son slammed the car door and broke a window. The youth was upset about her purchase of school supplies.
• Someone stole $10,000 worth of tools from a Ransier Drive warehouse. The suspect used a vehicle from the warehouse to flee but drove the truck across the lawn and got it stuck in mud.
• An Amherst businessman reported that an employee stole a company check for $225, forged the victim's name on it and cashed it. The complainant contacted the suspect, who admitted to the act and said he was on his way to Hawaii and that he'd mail the victim a check to pay him back.
• The owner of a plastics firm on Bank Street reported that someone had been denting the siding on their new warehouse with golf balls.
• A woman damaged a machine at a laundromat on Elmwood Avenue because it did not give her the soap she paid for.
• A Williamsville resident requested assistance with his dog, which had passed away. Police responded and found the dog was actually still alive. It was taken to a vet.

• A large bullfrog was reported in the intersection of Shimerville and Roll. State Police removed it.
• A Lancaster man reported he went through a drive-through at a restaurant to say hello to a friend who works there when the driver of the vehicle in front of them exited his vehicle and threw a beer can and sandwich at his vehicle.
• A Lisa Ann Lane resident reported that someone had thrown cake on his car. There was no damage, but the complainant said this is a recurring problem every year when neighborhood children get out of school.

• A Tremont Avenue resident reported that someone had entered her apartment. She added that the person used her bathroom and didn't flush the toilet.
• A Redwood Terrace resident complained there was a white substance all over the driver's side of the vehicle. Police said the substance was shaving cream.
• A bicyclist on Wilber Avenue reported that three women were saying sexually suggestive and inappropriate things to him as he was passing by.
• Two Rose Avenue residents reported that their neighbor was playing loud music and spraying their flowers with weed killer.
• An unknown suspect spray painted the words, "cable guy!" on the rear side of the bathrooms at Harlem Road Park. The same thing was spray painted on the blacktop of the basketball courts.
• An Imperial Drive resident reported she had recently moved into the home and found bones in the basement. Police reported it was a dog chew toy and chicken wing bones.
• A Depew couple reported that overnight, someone stole money and a stamp off an envelope from the woman's purse. A sliding glass door had been left unlocked. The couple was meditating the night before, and the woman told police that as she reached the "delta state," she heard a door near the garage slam.
• Police were called to Greengage Circle about a loud music complainant. They advised the resident to sing, "Major Tom" at a more appropriate time.
• Police responded to a report of a vehicle repeatedly ramming the loading docks in the back of Home Depot on Ridge Road. A patrol found the suspect vehicle backed up against the loading dock wall. The vehicle had heavy rear damage and the driver appeared disoriented. The suspect had just gotten out of work as a toll booth collector and did not remember what happened. He was found to be in possession of marijuana.
• A patrol responded to a report of a person screaming loudly and disturbing neighbors in an Indian Church Road apartment building. The officer told the suspect to keep the noise down. The woman said she could be as loud as she wanted. She was placed under arrest.
• Police responded to an accident at Broadway and Central. As officers spoke to the man, they noticed signs of intoxication and the odor of alcohol. The man admitted to having beer, but he couldn't remember how many. Then he said, "I'll be completely honest with you. I'm smashed."
• Police were called to Paradise Road where a man was on the roadside cutting up a deer with a chainsaw. When police responded they discovered a man working on a fallen tree, not an animal.
• Police were called an apartment complex on Millersport Highway for vandalism. Reportedly a group of 10-15 people were dumping "colored baby powder" all over the parking lot.
• A Lancaster woman reported that she noticed items that were missing from her home were in her son's Buffalo apartment when she visited him. The items included 175 CDs and 667 DVDs.
• Deputies responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle driving up and down North Davis Road shining a spotlight on houses. The patrol was unable to locate the vehicle.
• Deputies responded to a report of loose llamas on Schwartz Road in Elma.
• A neighbor dispute was reported on Lakewood Drive. A resident complained the neighbor placed their garbage cans on the complainant's property and the cans fall against her house - a constant problem. All were advised about their loose cans.
• A shipping business on Main Street reported receiving a package that smells like marijuana and the person, to whom the package is addressed, had called with strange questions but hadn't come to pick it up yet.
• A Depew man was charged with disorderly conduct after police executed a stop. As an officer approached, the suspect exited his vehicle and was ordered to return to the driver's seat. When the officer tried talking to the suspect, he asked what the officer wanted, swore at the officer and told him to wait a minute because he was talking on his cell phone.
• A patrol responded to a report of a white male exiting his vehicle and dumping beer cans on Norwood Drive. Police located the suspect in the driveway of his Center Road residence. He said he was coming from work, where he drank six beers.
• Police advised an Orchard Park woman to call Verizon after she told them she received more than 40 unwanted calls on her cell phone.
• A suspicious vehicle was reported on the bike path near Gunnville Road. It was a town security vehicle.
• A man was reportedly going in and out of the bathroom at a salon on Delaware Avenue. When police arrived to check on the suspicious activity the complainant was cutting the man's hair.
• Road obstruction was reported on Interstate 990 - possibly stuffed animals.
• A man parked his purple van in a parking lot on Kenmore Avenue and was asking women to go home with him.
• The owner of a Walden Avenue business reported someone has been stealing valuable metal pieces from his property. One piece was a 1,000-pound rear end out of a parked trailer.
• Police were called to Cottonwood Drive where a man was standing in the window naked. He told police he was sunning himself and didn't realize anyone was watching. He was strongly advised to stop.
• A goose was tapping on windows at the library on Audubon Parkway.
• An East Aurora man was pulled over after Depew police noticed him driving too slowly on Transit Road. An officer saw the driver pull out of a parking lot, and the driver continued to slow down, driving 20 mph down to 10 mph, so he didn't pass the patrol car. The driver admitted to having "a few drinks" and told police he graduated from high school but didn't know the English language.
• A fire was reported on Tonawanda Creek Road. The odor was caused by a burned-out dryer motor.
• A 9-1-1 call was placed from Brooklane Drive from a boy who was having a disagreement with his sister. Police advised the family on the proper use of 9-1-1.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle on Route 400 after noticing it cross over the fog line six times. The driver, a Rochester woman, had an odor of alcoholic beverage on her breath. She said she drank three beers and was on her way from Rochester to Amherst. She said she left Rochester at 7 p.m. The time was currently 11:10 p.m.
• A patrol stopped a suspicious vehicle on Connor Court. The suspect opened his door and could not comprehend requests to close the door and roll down the window. The driver failed to put the car in park, and the vehicle began to roll backwards. The officer had to reach in the car and place it in park. When asked for his license, the driver handed the officer a credit card.
• A West Seneca man reported someone had put ketchup and syrup all over the passenger side of his vehicle.
• An Amherst woman was charged with robbery after she reportedly bit a clerk and stole jewelry from a Main Street business in Clarence.
• Lancaster man firefighters told police five potted marijuana plants were found growing under a florescent light in a closet as they fought a blaze at the apartment complex. While fire and police personnel were waiting for a detective to arrive, the apartment's renter came home and told officers he was growing the marijuana for his girlfriend.
• A woman reported her 1-year-old son was locked in the car on Washington Highway and he had the keys.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle on Seneca Street after noticing it had no inspection sticker. When asked for his license and registration, the driver said, "My license is suspended, but I didn't want my wife to drive because I think the front wheel is going to fall off."
• A patrol arrived at a West Seneca residence, where there had been a dispute between roommates. The victim said the suspect had started an argument, and then pulled the wires out of his computer. The suspect picked up a hammer and swung it above the victim's head, reportedly threatening, "I'm gonna bash your head in and drag your body out onto the street."
• A Depew man was in Lancaster Town Court when he approached a police officer and asked if he had to sign in for court. The police officer immediately smelled the odor of burnt marijuana on the man and escorted him outside.
• A Stillwell Avenue resident asked police for advice about unwanted attention from a woman.
• A Victoria Boulevard resident reported her neighbor put dog feces on her lawn. The neighbor claimed that her son must have accidentally put it there while he was shoveling snow.
• A fire alarm was activated at a Clarence address. It was caused by burnt meatballs.
• A woman called police to report that a man she had met the night before and brought back to her apartment, then left to get some cocaine, but didn't return. A few hours later, he called her and said, "If the police ask, you told me I could have the truck."
• On Denise Drive, a female reported that her ex-boyfriend followed her home. She said he did not enter the house but was sleeping in the hot tub.
• A bouncer was sent to St. Joseph's Hospital after a fight at a George Urban Boulevard nightclub. A cell phone was found after the incident, and when the officer answered it after it rang, he was able to get the name and address of a suspect. The officer told the suspect he would return the phone if he provided his name and address. The suspect then offered the officer 2 grams of cocaine in exchange for the phone.
• Deputies assisted with an incident that occurred on East Avenue after a caller reported that someone drove through her yard to get to a party in the next yard.
• A Lancaster couple reported they suspect that employees of a carpet cleaning company stole a yellow frog bank with $460 and a birth certificate while they were working in their home.
• Police located a man suspected in a burglary running through back yards. He claimed that "running through back yards was easier than running down the street."
• AAA was called to a gas station on Main Street for a woman who was locked out of her car. When the operator responded, the woman walked to the truck carrying a beer. She was taken to headquarters.
• Police and the Ellicott Creek Fire Company responded to Brier Road where a woman's hand was reportedly stuck in a blender. It was discovered that only her shirt was caught, and the fire crew cut her free. The banana bread was ruined.
• A Buffalo man grabbed a bike at a store on Orchard Park Road and fled through an emergency exit. The suspect was seen riding a blue bike with tags still on it along railroad tracks. He was apprehended after he stopped at an Indian Church Road residence and asked to use the phone.
• A motorist burned his jeans after being pulled over by police. He panicked while smoking a marijuana joint and stuffed it in his pocket.
• A Hamilton Boulevard resident reported that his lawn furniture and garbage cans had been moved and sandwiches were found in his backyard.
• Police and the Depew Fire Department were called to a George Urban Boulevard home after smoke was seen coming from an apartment. Upon arrival, personnel found a pot of eggs had been left boiling on a stove while nobody was home.
• A patrol observed a vehicle coming from behind a store on Seneca Street, but the business was closed at the time. After stopping the suspect vehicle, the patrol saw the driver was in his underwear.
• Neighbors on Antoinette Drive reported that a nearby resident has been standing naked in front of his window around noon almost daily.
• A Bielak Road woman told police that she discovered that someone set up a cell phone account in her name sometime in the last 12 months.
• Police charged a Hamburg woman with driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a personal injury auto accident, open container of alcohol and imprudent speed on Southwestern Boulevard. Officers said she was on her way to work.
• A Hamburg man was pulled over on Union Road because he was driving without any headlights on around 5 a.m. The suspect pulled into a driveway, exited his vehicle and began to walk toward the back yard. When asked what he was doing, the suspect, who appeared intoxicated, said he was meeting a friend a few houses down. He then admitted that his friend did not live anywhere near that area.
• An Allenhurst Road resident reported she could hear her neighbors yelling and the complainant believed the man was hitting the female. Police responded and found the people in question were watching Steven Seagal's "Out for Justice" with stereo sound.
• A Glenhaven Drive resident said a woman stole his dog when he was sick and refused to give it back.

• A Lancaster woman reported she suspected her husband, with whom she is in the middle of a divorce, put bird droppings on top of the coffee grounds in her coffee maker.
• A Depew resident told police a man in a brown pickup truck pulled up in front of his house and stole a cast iron bath tub that was in the front lawn. The owner told the suspect that the tub wasn't trash and to return it, but the suspect refused.
• An Orchard Park woman told police that two people responded to an ad she placed about her missing cat, with one person claiming he ran it over and another saying she ate it.
• Police were called to Wickham Drive about a lost wallet that contained cash and credit cards. The wallet was found 20 minutes later under a bed and is believed to have been hidden by the basset hound.
• A man called from Maple Road to report an encounter he had with a raccoon the previous night. He said the raccoon challenged him.
• Police were called about a suspicious vehicle on Tonawanda Creek Road. Officers determined it was two people getting to know each other better.

Get the Police Blotter Every week in the mail:
Subscribe to the Bee Today!