Best of the Blotter 2009

Excerpts from police calls are a regular feature in all nine Bee Group Newspapers. Some of the more unusual reports from 2009 are reprinted here. Each is an actual listing from a town police blotter.

Illustrations by Robert Malloy

• Police responded to an accident on Northwood Avenue, where a car had run over a metal sign. The suspect was located on a nearby street and admitted he had been drinking. After failing his third field sobriety test, the suspect said, "Let's just call it a day."
• A Ridge Lea Road woman complained she received 12 harassing text messages from a female friend of her boyfriend.
• Police were called to a pet store on Sheridan Drive about a caged dog that appeared to be in distress. Patrol located a stuffed animal, which appeared to be fine.
• There was a report of a suspicious male walking near parked cars on Crosby Avenue. The man told an officer he had just received a haircut and was "checking himself out" in a vehicle window.
• A Blasdell resident reported that an unknown suspect opened his locker inside the men's locker room at the YMCA and removed several items from his wallet, including $100 cash and two bank-issued credit cards. The complainant reported that he left the combination sticker on the padlock and did not notice the items missing until he returned home.
• Police answered a call about a child alone in a vehicle at a Transit Road store. The mother returned and said she left the child in the vehicle because the child was giving her a hard time.
• An Olmstead Avenue woman reported someone stole a garden gnome.
• A woman asked police to advise her ex-husband that it is against the law to allow their 13- and 15-year-old daughters to drive, even if he is in the car.
• A man suffered a head injury on Maple Road when he was hit by a golf club while helping his son with his swing.
• Police responded to a Broadway business for a report of damage done inside the building. The victim told police that the night before, his daughter and her boyfriend fought and that the boyfriend, who had been drinking, drove off with his daughter's toy penguin tied to his bumper.
• Police were called to Robin Road about a disco ball and chainsaw taken from a garage.
• Two men who were visiting a 16-year-old Amherst girl jumped out of a second-floor window when her mother arrived home.
• Deputies responded to a report of shots fired on Porterville Road. There was a Civil War re-enactment in progress.
• Police were called to Sundridge Drive about a suspicious man. His head was shaved, he was dressed as a woman in a sparkly blue top and green pants with his rear end sticking out. The complainant also stated the suspect was "acting weird." The man told officers he was pledging a fraternity.
• There was a report of customer disturbance at a cable television provider's office in West Seneca. The subject reportedly raised her voice and yelled, "They won't give me my wireless Internet because they are lazy and they lied to me!" When the patrol asked the subject for her full name, she first refused to give her middle initial, then said, "It's F, as in ..." completing the sentence in a profane manner.
• Police broke up a party on Parkhaven Drive and escorted 30 youths out. Police were looking for a woman, 19, who lives in the house and whose parents were out of town. According to police, the woman posted on Facebook that she was having a party and it was discovered by a relative.
• Police were called to University Plaza about a man sitting in his car texting.
• Troopers were summoned to a Main Street location to check out a report of a naked woman. When the patrol arrived they found a highly intoxicated, Clarence woman trying to restart her disabled car.
• Police were called to Amherston Drive to assist a woman who was itchy.

• A Lancaster woman reported another woman broke her fish tank after she asked her to leave. Officers arrived to find a wet carpet, broken glass and dead fish in the living room.
• A representative of a Transit Road store reported an East Aurora woman stole a total of $559 in merchandise during three separate incidents. Items included Buffalo Sabres items and chicken.
• A man told police that while at a Maple Road restaurant his wife was approached by a woman with a child, and the woman stated her van broke down and she needed money for gas to get to Ohio. His wife gave her $20 and her address to return the money, and the complainant believes his wife was scammed.
• A Bayberry Avenue woman reported that someone entered her vehicle, rummaged through items and broke a Bon Jovi CD.
• A patrol responded to a West Seneca residence to check for a suspect who had several warrants out for his arrest. The suspect's mother let the patrol inside the residence, and he was found hiding in a closet. The suspect then appeared to have some type of seizure. First aid was called and said the suspect's symptoms were not consistent with those of a real seizure. The suspect admitted he had been faking because it had worked before so he thought he would try it again.

• A Homecrest Drive resident was seeking advice in dealing with his 13-year-old son. He said the child won't eat vegetables or go to church.
• A Lancaster man reported his landlord locked him out of his apartment even though he was given two extra weeks to move on his eviction notice. A dispatcher told officers that the man had an outstanding arrest warrant from the Erie County Sheriff's Department. The man was arrested and told to call police once he's released.
• A patrol responded to a report of an intoxicated female motorist on Seneca Street. When asked if she had been drinking, the woman said she had two vodka drinks at a work party, then went to a bar on Elmwood Avenue in Buffalo and was going home to Lockport. When asked why she was in West Seneca, the woman said she thought she was still on Elmwood. When asked again if she knew where she was, the suspect said she was in Niagara Falls.
• A Lancaster man reported that he had been staying at a friend's house and his friend took his vehicle without permission while he was asleep. The complainant believed the suspect may have stolen his vehicle to go purchase crack.
• A man called police asking for assistance in getting a ring back from an ex-fiancee.
• A Lakewood Parkway resident reported a white powder at the end of her driveway, which she believed was drugs. Patrol determined it was salt.
• Police were called to Sweet Home Road about a person in a clown mask. An area store manager said it was a regular customer.
• A Casey Road resident wanted advice about the neighbor's dog. The complainant wanted to know if it was OK to hit the dog with a baseball bat or shoot it when it got loose. He was told it was not all right.
• A Buffalo man was driving on Indian Church Road when a man flagged him down and asked for a cigarette. He unhooked his seatbelt and reached in his pocket. As he opened the door, the suspect grabbed his coat and said, "Give me all you got or I'm gonna stick ya," while displaying a steak knife. The victim said, "Go ahead - you can have it, I have OnStar."
• An officer responded to a report of a hit-and-run accident on Ridge Road, in which the suspect drove through a red light and struck a vehicle. The Buffalo woman was displaying signs of intoxication. In the booking room, she made derogatory comments to officers, such as, "Tell your mother to come take my picture."
• An officer stopped a vehicle that was weaving on Clinton Street. The driver, an Alden woman, was showing signs of intoxication. She had to be told numerous times to put down her cell phone, as she kept initiating calls and ignoring the officer. When asked how much she had to drink, she replied, "one gallon of wine" and noted her left leg was sore from bowling and could affect her ability to perform field sobriety tests.
• A Nickel Way resident reported someone smashed bananas all over his car.
• Officers responded to a storage business on Walden Avenue. Inside, a man wearing slippers appeared to be sleeping on a sofa.
• A man called police from a Main Street bar complaining a female patron punched him in the face. She was described as 5 feet 7 inches tall and riding a bicycle.
• Police were called to a church lawn fete in Depew where a woman was dealing unlawfully with a child. The suspect was accused of carrying beers in her purse and pouring them into cups for her 16-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old friend.
• A patrol noticed an individual slumped over in a parked vehicle on Seneca Street. Upon checking the vehicle registration, the patrol learned it was stolen. When approached and asked if he knew the car was stolen, the driver said, "Yes, I stole it. I'm trying to get to Chautauqua County."
• A patrol observed a vehicle speeding on Seneca Street and noticed the driver was not wearing a safety belt. The driver had been wearing slippers, which he left in the vehicle to perform field sobriety tests in bare feet. After failing several tests, he refused a breath screening and told the officer, "You're a wiener."
• After passing an accident scene on Niagara Falls Boulevard, a motorist reported little children from one of the vehicles were yelling at the other driver.
• Reckless operation of a vehicle was reported on Maple Road. Police located a mother teaching her daughter to drive.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle for speeding on Clinton Street. When asked if he thought driving at 57 mph in a 40-mph zone was excessive, the driver said no. The driver was handcuffed and told to stand facing the patrol vehicle. At this point, the suspect passed gas and told the officer, "There - that's for you."
• A Kaymar Drive resident said he was outside yelling because the Buffalo Bills lost and the neighbor from across the street came over and punched him in the face.
• Police received a call from the McDonald's on Orchard Park Road, stating that a man fell asleep in the car after he pulled into the drive-through.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle for traveling at 81 mph in a 45-mph zone on Transit Road. The driver said he was coming from Salamanca for his mother's funeral in Buffalo. He had an odor of alcoholic beverage emanating from his breath. During his arrest, he changed his story, telling police he was visiting his ill mother and meeting relatives at Burger King.
• A female was doing exercises with a ninja type sword on Sundridge Drive. With the assistance of a translator, police asked her to take her tai chi props inside.
• A Broadway woman was charged after she allegedly set a man's bicycle on fire after they had an argument.
• A woman was reportedly kicking her husband as well as a computer during an argument on Grover Cleveland Highway.
• A noise complaint was reported at an apartment on Ayrault Drive. The attendees of a baby shower were advised.

• A 911 call was placed from a senior living facility on Union Road. The woman was fine but was upset her lunch tray hadn't been picked up when she called to have it removed.
• An employee of a liquor store on Southwestern Boulevard recognized two men whom he believed had previously stolen bottles of wine. When police arrived, the pair attempted to drive away but were stopped with $60 worth of champagne in the vehicle.

• Deputies responded to a report of a 13 year-old on Seneca Street who locked herself in handcuffs.
• A person reported that there were two males pushing a shopping cart and possibly drinking while traveling north on Military Road.

• A concerned motorist reported a large heron stuck in a frozen ditch along Hopkins Road. Police reported it was not stuck, but looking for a meal.
• Deputies responded to a suspicious incident reported on Eastwood Road at Williston Road. An intoxicated young male asked if he could sleep at the caller's home because he drove his snowmobile into a pond.
• A Vine Lane resident complained that the neighbor's dog chain is too long, enabling the dog to go onto the complainant's yard and defecate.
• Police questioned a Depew man after he reported a burglary. The woman he said burglarized his home told police that she met the man through a phone chat line. She offered him company and back rubs for $120. When she arrived at his home, she said that the man had only $60, but he offered her his laptop as the rest of the payment.
• A man called from Sheridan Drive saying he lost his cell phone and when his wife texted it, someone texted back requesting a ransom for its return.
• Someone called about a Metro Bus on Niagara Falls Boulevard because its message board had said, "Call the police." The sign had malfunctioned.
• A Ridge Road man was arrested for shoplifting after he was observed placing four packages of steaks in his pants at Wegmans on Orchard Park Road.
• Police were called to Youngs Road for an argument between a man and a woman about dancing lessons.
• A house on Dellwood Road was egged overnight and three slices of bologna found on the windows.
• Police were called to a Main Street store about a larceny, and the woman was giving security a hard time. There was reportedly a misunderstanding about brownies.
• Someone reported the sign in front of a church on North French Road had been painted overnight. It was actually construction paper and tape placed on the sign to cover the times of the event advertised.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle for speeding on Potters Road. When asked where he had been, the driver said he had been "all over." When asked where he lived, the suspect said, "West Seneca." When asked where specifically, he replied, "One hundred and twenty seven."
• State troopers broke up a fight between twin brothers on Seneca Street. The brothers stated they were fighting because they went to a concert in Buffalo and became lost trying to get back to Pennsylvania.
• A restaurant on Southwestern Boulevard reported that the night before, a customer passed what employees believe was a counterfeit $20 bill. The man was questioned as to why the money looked funny, and he said, "It just went through the wash."
• A Delaware Avenue resident reported that her neighbor might be harboring a rooster.
• Four residents reported that they found their apartment burglarized and more than $3,000 worth of property missing, including a PlayStation 3 and a digital camera. The parties were not home during the time in question because they were incarcerated in the Erie County Holding Center.
• Police received six phone calls from an unknown inmate at the Erie County Holding Center "just looking for advice."
• While on patrol, officers observed three individuals entering yards as they walked along Center Road. They appeared to be intoxicated and gave conflicting stories as to why they were walking in people's yards, including that they were looking at deer, jumping over a ditch and heard a dog barking. One of the individuals began using obscene language. He fought with the officer as he was being placed in the patrol car and said, "Go ahead, mace me." The officer complied.
• A Lake Avenue resident told police a turkey flew through her garage apartment.
• A Town Square woman reported that after a Bible salesman visited her residence and left, she noticed four patches of her pain medication and $150 missing.
• A representative of a model home reported that when she arrived to show the home, she realized that a dishwasher, a painting, a rug and tables had been stolen.
• Police located a man, 19, walking on Interstate 290. He told police he was walking from Buffalo to Syracuse to see his girlfriend.
• A Harrison Avenue resident reported a man walking through several gardens and backyards. When questioned by police, the man claimed to be heading home, walking through the lawns because God wanted him to clean up the Earth.
• An officer saw a vehicle fail to stop for a stop sign on Gould Avenue and stopped the vehicle on Transit Road. An adult male was found naked in the passenger seat.
• A noise complaint was reported on Pin Oak Drive. Police responded and found a 50th anniversary party. The seniors were advised to turn down the Frank Sinatra music.
• Troopers responded to the Bright Meadows Golf Course for a report of an intoxicated and disorderly subject who was upset at the group in front of him for playing too slowly.
• A patrol stopped a vehicle for cutting through a parking lot to avoid a red light on Mineral Springs Road. The officer asked the passenger to exit the car. As he stood up, 24 Lortabs fell out of his shorts.
• A Cheektowaga man reported that while he was at a lawn fete, he came across two vehicles that were stuck in mud. He used his vehicle to pull the cars out, but an owner of one of the stuck vehicles kept yelling that he was doing it incorrectly. When he returned to his vehicle, he found the rear driver-side window had been broken.
• Officers saw a vehicle traveling about 55 mph on Transit Road. During a search, officers found an envelope with a white, powdery substance and $1,600 on the man. He said the money was from his bartending job.
• Reckless operation of a vehicle was reported on North French Road, and police stopped the driver on Interstate 990. He said he was trying to sign a birthday card while on his way to the party.
• A Depew woman reported she fell asleep watching television and awoke to a man touching her arm and face. She thought it was her boyfriend, but when she opened her eyes, she said she found a strange man who smelled of beer.
• A Laurelton Drive man found a shoe box with seven newborn opossums inside.
• Police were called to apartments on American Campus Drive after a woman complained that she had been thrown into a pool with all her clothes on and her phone was broken.
• A suspicious person was reported outside a Transit Road business trying to sell edible underwear.
• A complainant called from Hopkins Road saying he could smell drugs coming from workers at a restaurant. Patrol responded and reported they smelled nothing but pizza.
• Occupants in a muddy Jeep on Arlington Road were reportedly throwing eggs at parked cars. Police responded and found they were actually throwing large, pink marshmallows.
• A Lackawanna man reported someone had attached between 60 and 100 Sunoco stickers to his car's trunk.

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